So, as some wag on slashdot put it, does this mean that in the future mickey mouse will only have one button?
Ho ho ho.
January 25, 2006
Filthy Lucre
Mike and I went and played squash tonight. I notionally won my first ever game!! But only because of multiple generous allowances and second chances...
Normally there are three of us and we rotate, but this evening I was on the court for the full forty minutes and was, as a result, completely red-faced, buggered afterwards.
It's almost one and I'm still buggered, so I'll cut to the chase. After the game, Mike asked me to stay on for an extra 4 weeks as a contractor. The work emphasis will shift to more technical stuff. I'd only have to have to work 4 days a week (giving me time to think about jobs). And, perversely, I'd get paid much more than I get at the moment. In fact, the cash yield from sucking satan's filthy willy for four weeks would mean that - post contract - I'd get to sit around on my arse working out what to do for an extra 2.5 to 3 months before feeling the pinch. In fact, I could move to bongo bongo land and retire for a while.
I like contracting. I wonder why I ever switched to nominal permanency.
Anyway, I'd be a eejit to say no, thus I have said yes in principle. Though I've said that if the work goes on beyond 4 weeks my daily rate will shoot up quicker than a glaswegian left alone with a bag of the brown stuff and a clean looking needle.
Normally there are three of us and we rotate, but this evening I was on the court for the full forty minutes and was, as a result, completely red-faced, buggered afterwards.
It's almost one and I'm still buggered, so I'll cut to the chase. After the game, Mike asked me to stay on for an extra 4 weeks as a contractor. The work emphasis will shift to more technical stuff. I'd only have to have to work 4 days a week (giving me time to think about jobs). And, perversely, I'd get paid much more than I get at the moment. In fact, the cash yield from sucking satan's filthy willy for four weeks would mean that - post contract - I'd get to sit around on my arse working out what to do for an extra 2.5 to 3 months before feeling the pinch. In fact, I could move to bongo bongo land and retire for a while.
I like contracting. I wonder why I ever switched to nominal permanency.
Anyway, I'd be a eejit to say no, thus I have said yes in principle. Though I've said that if the work goes on beyond 4 weeks my daily rate will shoot up quicker than a glaswegian left alone with a bag of the brown stuff and a clean looking needle.
January 22, 2006
Jarhead
"So gripping I fell asleep" - Tom's Film Reviews.com
No, really, I actually passed out in the cinema.
Thrilling stuff!
Or maybe it was the drugs.
Whatever.
No, really, I actually passed out in the cinema.
Thrilling stuff!
Or maybe it was the drugs.
Whatever.
Bass
My new bass arrived this week and I started playing it yesterday. I've got this little book which came with a CD. The book explains how to read music and tablature, different notation and technique. Every time a concept is introduced there's a track on the CD to demonstrate it and, a bit like those 'learn a language' tapes, you then have a version of the track without the bass part which you can play along to.
I was worried that I'd have to start from scratch with a new instrument but I've got on really quite well with it so far. I'm on lesson 8 out 10 - I'm well pleased. I'll have to accelerate my efforts to find a proper teacher. Strategic goal this year: learn to play the bass, join a band and play some gigs. I'm confident that I can do this now. How to find a teacher? Maybe I'll check out ads in music shops or look in the yellow pages or something.
It's a lonely fucking business to start off with though. It's tricky to communicate this kind of thing to other people. A lot of people don't know what a bass guitar is or what it sounds like. I've been explaining it by telling people to imagine the start of "Come Together" by The Beatles. I'm not sure if I'm terribly qualified to be a bassist because I don't know if I have any favourite bass lines. Contenders have to be "God put a smile.." (Coldplay), "Somebody Told Me" (Killers) and "Where the streets have no name" (U2) but suggestions, as ever, gratefully received.
I was worried that I'd have to start from scratch with a new instrument but I've got on really quite well with it so far. I'm on lesson 8 out 10 - I'm well pleased. I'll have to accelerate my efforts to find a proper teacher. Strategic goal this year: learn to play the bass, join a band and play some gigs. I'm confident that I can do this now. How to find a teacher? Maybe I'll check out ads in music shops or look in the yellow pages or something.
It's a lonely fucking business to start off with though. It's tricky to communicate this kind of thing to other people. A lot of people don't know what a bass guitar is or what it sounds like. I've been explaining it by telling people to imagine the start of "Come Together" by The Beatles. I'm not sure if I'm terribly qualified to be a bassist because I don't know if I have any favourite bass lines. Contenders have to be "God put a smile.." (Coldplay), "Somebody Told Me" (Killers) and "Where the streets have no name" (U2) but suggestions, as ever, gratefully received.
Chicken Thyme
Roast chicken tonight for Benny and I. I've tried lots of different roast chicken recipes over the years and this one's my favourite:
Smear outside of chicken with lump of butter mashed together with chopped thyme. Squeeze half a lemon over it. Season. Chop head of garlic in half and wedge underneath. Stick other half of lemon inside chicken with lump of thyme butter. Roast for 20 mins per 500g + 30mins @ 200C. Rest for 10. Consume.
If I was trying to impress Benny, or if I was really hungry myself, I'd do this with some white wine gravy, some of my roast potatoes and maybe some steamed vegetables. But I'm not, so I won't.
I was 22 before I roast my first chicken, and it's about as difficult as making cheese on toast and costs less than a large happy meal. I spent so much cash on convenience food when I was at uni. I could have literally saved thousands and been much healthier if someone had given me a kick up the arse. Ah well.
Smear outside of chicken with lump of butter mashed together with chopped thyme. Squeeze half a lemon over it. Season. Chop head of garlic in half and wedge underneath. Stick other half of lemon inside chicken with lump of thyme butter. Roast for 20 mins per 500g + 30mins @ 200C. Rest for 10. Consume.
If I was trying to impress Benny, or if I was really hungry myself, I'd do this with some white wine gravy, some of my roast potatoes and maybe some steamed vegetables. But I'm not, so I won't.
I was 22 before I roast my first chicken, and it's about as difficult as making cheese on toast and costs less than a large happy meal. I spent so much cash on convenience food when I was at uni. I could have literally saved thousands and been much healthier if someone had given me a kick up the arse. Ah well.
Apple Keynote
I finally got round to watching the apple keynote from macworld. You can see the video at http://macworld.apple.com.edgesuite.net/mw/index.html
Higlights for me:
40mins in, Steve shows how apples do podcasts / audioblogs.
1hr 10mins in, some spacker from microsoft shows up to talk about office and makes you glad that Steve is capable of presenting in more than one vocal tone and doesn't awkwardly shuffle around as he's talking.
Higlights for me:
40mins in, Steve shows how apples do podcasts / audioblogs.
1hr 10mins in, some spacker from microsoft shows up to talk about office and makes you glad that Steve is capable of presenting in more than one vocal tone and doesn't awkwardly shuffle around as he's talking.
January 18, 2006
Three Captains, Three Ships; I see providence
I called two former colleagues from my red norf london days era earlier tonight. It turns out that they have both, quite independently of me, quit their respective (estate agent/online gay dating hardware monkey) jobs over the last week and - like me - don't have jobs to go on to.
This is quite a stunning coincidence. We're now all talking about going away somewhere for a few weeks in february. Somewhere for a road trip or something. I like the idea - we all need to get away to think, for rather different reasons. It's a great opportunity. Let's see where it goes.
This is quite a stunning coincidence. We're now all talking about going away somewhere for a few weeks in february. Somewhere for a road trip or something. I like the idea - we all need to get away to think, for rather different reasons. It's a great opportunity. Let's see where it goes.
January 16, 2006
Boredom Management
Rather than sitting here blogging about how bored I felt, I decided a change of scenery might help. The office I'm working at is on an anonymous industrial estate a few miles from the centre of town so I drove in, skidded around the rainswept multistorey monstrosity and had a look around the shopping centre.
This is quite a rare occasion - I've been working in this office for about 9 months on and off and have only been into town for lunch 3 times. I bought some tucker from M&S, banked a few cheques and bought some headphones from HMV. I also bought some CDs - Bloc Party, Editors and Hard-fi. These were on sale at the iTunes busting price of £6.99 - interesting to see the changes that Mr Jobs is driving at retail level. I'm sure a few years ago they would have cost £12 each, minimum.
Anyway, I'm still stuck in my horrific little office, but I've got music. So huzzah.
This is quite a rare occasion - I've been working in this office for about 9 months on and off and have only been into town for lunch 3 times. I bought some tucker from M&S, banked a few cheques and bought some headphones from HMV. I also bought some CDs - Bloc Party, Editors and Hard-fi. These were on sale at the iTunes busting price of £6.99 - interesting to see the changes that Mr Jobs is driving at retail level. I'm sure a few years ago they would have cost £12 each, minimum.
Anyway, I'm still stuck in my horrific little office, but I've got music. So huzzah.
You know you were right to hand in your notice when...
Benny had to pull my duvet off me this morning in order to get me out of bed.
I sat in the office car park for 10 minutes listening to Chris Moyles talking about Celebrity Big Brother (which I don't even watch) rather than start work.
Now that I'm here in this dreary scummy hellhole I just want to get out of it.
Lots of work to do but can't find it in myself to do any of it.
You might think this unprofessional of me. I would hasten to point out that my motivation to engage with it is proportional to the value I think we're adding long term.
Bored Bored Bored!
I sat in the office car park for 10 minutes listening to Chris Moyles talking about Celebrity Big Brother (which I don't even watch) rather than start work.
Now that I'm here in this dreary scummy hellhole I just want to get out of it.
Lots of work to do but can't find it in myself to do any of it.
You might think this unprofessional of me. I would hasten to point out that my motivation to engage with it is proportional to the value I think we're adding long term.
Bored Bored Bored!
Don't boss us around
We're posturing about sanctions for Iran. Iran have responded saying "If you put sanctions on us, we'll stick our oil prices up". Because Iran is the world's 4th largest oil producer, that's interesting stuff.
I guess we now have to balance the security of middle eastern states (and austria and turkey, who are also within range of Iran's Shahab missiles) against our own economic security.
While we're talking about oil, my recent weekend in the company of Jimbo (a closet fascist fanboy) has got me thinking about the Nazis. Where did they get their oil from? They needed a lot of it to keep the panzers steaming around Europe, but surely they didn't control any? I dimly remember something about 'synthetic' oil, but surely that's bollocks?
I guess we now have to balance the security of middle eastern states (and austria and turkey, who are also within range of Iran's Shahab missiles) against our own economic security.
While we're talking about oil, my recent weekend in the company of Jimbo (a closet fascist fanboy) has got me thinking about the Nazis. Where did they get their oil from? They needed a lot of it to keep the panzers steaming around Europe, but surely they didn't control any? I dimly remember something about 'synthetic' oil, but surely that's bollocks?
January 14, 2006
Folk Lady Covers NWA
I think this skit is beautiful and the work of someone close to genius. You may, of course, take a different view.
I recommend the quicktime version - the quality's worth it.
I recommend the quicktime version - the quality's worth it.
January 12, 2006
Car Park Jimjams
Getting to sleep in a hotel by yourself is a tricky business. At home I get to sleep pretty quickly, but in my Marriott/Hilton/HolidayInn double life I always need to read until my eyes grow heavy or put the TV on sleep. Waking up in strange surroundings always startles me a bit when my eyes open.
This morning at 4am the fire alarm went off. I woke up instantly. In the part of the hotel they've stuck me in (the bit you get sent where you get upgraded for being a constant Hilton victim) there are big, old-school style bells in each room. Perhaps the logic to the upgrading is that they don't want their most valuable customers to fry like piggies. Anyway, the bell is so loud it's painful. Back at uni I slept through 4 evacuations at my hall of residence. There was no option here. I stuck some clothes on and bailed to the car park.
Pandemonium. No fire marshals, no one saying 'get away from the building'. No roll-calls - so they had no idea if anyone was still inside. A fucking shambles. If this place ever goes up, people will die. It was fucking cold too - I was lucky as I'd pulled some jeans on and was wearing a jacket. Some people were out there in dressing gowns, freezing.
Very interesting what people had brought with them. One guy had grabbed a book. More than a couple had grabbed their laptops - for christ's sake get some perspective - while one guy had tie. Firemen showed up, looked pissed off, had a look around and then let us back in. By this time a lot of us were in the warmth of the lobby. One of the staff got pissed off with the automatic doors opening and closing and flicked a switch so they stayed shut. Interesting approach when the building hadn't been declared safe. Obviously we shouldn't have been inside, but by this point it was 30 minutes old and we were freezing. 10 minutes later it was declared safe. Took me 1.5 hours to get back to sleep.
A good day though. Spent some time up in Aldershot agreeing a new quality process with the team coaches who are very nice ladies and very open to what I'm trying to do which makes a pleasant change from the abortion of a workshop I had on Tuesday, but that's best left forgotten.
This morning at 4am the fire alarm went off. I woke up instantly. In the part of the hotel they've stuck me in (the bit you get sent where you get upgraded for being a constant Hilton victim) there are big, old-school style bells in each room. Perhaps the logic to the upgrading is that they don't want their most valuable customers to fry like piggies. Anyway, the bell is so loud it's painful. Back at uni I slept through 4 evacuations at my hall of residence. There was no option here. I stuck some clothes on and bailed to the car park.
Pandemonium. No fire marshals, no one saying 'get away from the building'. No roll-calls - so they had no idea if anyone was still inside. A fucking shambles. If this place ever goes up, people will die. It was fucking cold too - I was lucky as I'd pulled some jeans on and was wearing a jacket. Some people were out there in dressing gowns, freezing.
Very interesting what people had brought with them. One guy had grabbed a book. More than a couple had grabbed their laptops - for christ's sake get some perspective - while one guy had tie. Firemen showed up, looked pissed off, had a look around and then let us back in. By this time a lot of us were in the warmth of the lobby. One of the staff got pissed off with the automatic doors opening and closing and flicked a switch so they stayed shut. Interesting approach when the building hadn't been declared safe. Obviously we shouldn't have been inside, but by this point it was 30 minutes old and we were freezing. 10 minutes later it was declared safe. Took me 1.5 hours to get back to sleep.
A good day though. Spent some time up in Aldershot agreeing a new quality process with the team coaches who are very nice ladies and very open to what I'm trying to do which makes a pleasant change from the abortion of a workshop I had on Tuesday, but that's best left forgotten.
January 11, 2006
Ron Sexsmith - Thumbelina Farewell
Have you heard this? It's rather old now but it's one of those tracks that I keep coming back to.
Stop messing me around
I've been on the verge of being ill since last Thursday. Coughs, colds, pains in ears, sinus pain, general lack of energy, chest rumbling - we've had it all. This is my usual trick, sustain myself through the week and then collapse at the weekend.
But I'm really looking forward to this weekend, seeing Ew4n, Jimbo et al. I've been pumping myself full of vitamin C and getting rest. I will be seriously pissed off if this fucks my weekend.
But I'm really looking forward to this weekend, seeing Ew4n, Jimbo et al. I've been pumping myself full of vitamin C and getting rest. I will be seriously pissed off if this fucks my weekend.
The Squeeze and the squash
We finished at 7pm so I was unable to make it up to London to meet the IM guys. This was very annoying, and a good example of what's wrong with this job. Mike is making noises about why I should reconsider my decision to leave. Some of his reasoning makes sense, but core questions remain unanswered. It's beyond question that I need to step back from it. I think I'd be open to the idea of a sabbatical, but it's not on the cards.
4 of us went to town to play squash. This was my first week without sustaining a flesh wound. Definite progress. Josh is surprisingly good. We have opposite problems. Josh is unable to get to the ball but if it comes to him he's lethal. I nearly always get to it and then manage to flick it off the roof or a surprised spectator's forehead. Some work still to do here, I think. No one is up for badminton, which is much more my game.
4 of us went to town to play squash. This was my first week without sustaining a flesh wound. Definite progress. Josh is surprisingly good. We have opposite problems. Josh is unable to get to the ball but if it comes to him he's lethal. I nearly always get to it and then manage to flick it off the roof or a surprised spectator's forehead. Some work still to do here, I think. No one is up for badminton, which is much more my game.
January 10, 2006
oh yeah
i've just figured out how they made the great pyramids in ancient egypt - they just made the big ramp out of limestone blocks and cannibalised it upwards and backwards after them.
eeeeeeeeeeeasy!
still got it...
eeeeeeeeeeeasy!
still got it...
bye-bye leftie! bye-bye righty!
there are many horrible things about our prison service, of which i have ranted about in the past, but the best thing, the very very best thing is that you know that gentlemen like this are going to get their bollocks sliced off & flushed down the toilet within about half an hour of their arrival.
ho ho ho...
ho ho ho...
January 09, 2006
oooooh....
whilst staring at the glass teat this evening i have been spectaculalry impressed by two things.
the first was a programme about religion and why it was all a spectacularly good idea. sorry - wrote that wrong. why it was all a spectacularly *bad* idea. and the presenter, an oxford don, said that religion, whatever it was, was all a load of junk that did nothing but harm, and that quite apart from being junk it's all totally made-up junk too. since i've been thinking that for years but didn't really want to say so, for fear of going to burn for eternity if i'm wrong, i can't help but be impressed - at least now i shall have a touch of company in the pit of despair.
the second teat i have been impressed by is a show about samurai on BBC4. i did the samurai sword-fighting business, kendo, once, which is that martial art you may have seen with the bamboo-sticks and strange robes & armour. and lots of shouting. oh, so much shouting. anyway, i stopped going because i moved flat and it was a fucker to get to (elephant & castle. actually, walking back to the tube at 10pm you were kinda thankful for having a nice big stick to hand) and also because, as seems to happen in martial-arts revolving around big weapons, some of the men there were a trifle weird. but i still remain fond of the older fellas who run the place, stuck there in their decaying, damn, shitty-little school sports hall. but they've just been on the telly-box!!
...i really should post Vic his jacket back...it's still up in the loft somewhere, probably with a mice-nest in it...
anyway! i am feeling an awful lot better, and am going back to work tomorrow. i'm not totally well yet but i'm too fucking bored here, to tell you the truth. i've been out of the house twice since last Tuesday, once to the doctors' and once for a walk this afternoon, only about a mile and a half, two miles but it's exhausted me. what a wreckage of a human being i am...
bah. time to go iron a shirt and hack the week long illness-beard from my face. see ya.....
the first was a programme about religion and why it was all a spectacularly good idea. sorry - wrote that wrong. why it was all a spectacularly *bad* idea. and the presenter, an oxford don, said that religion, whatever it was, was all a load of junk that did nothing but harm, and that quite apart from being junk it's all totally made-up junk too. since i've been thinking that for years but didn't really want to say so, for fear of going to burn for eternity if i'm wrong, i can't help but be impressed - at least now i shall have a touch of company in the pit of despair.
the second teat i have been impressed by is a show about samurai on BBC4. i did the samurai sword-fighting business, kendo, once, which is that martial art you may have seen with the bamboo-sticks and strange robes & armour. and lots of shouting. oh, so much shouting. anyway, i stopped going because i moved flat and it was a fucker to get to (elephant & castle. actually, walking back to the tube at 10pm you were kinda thankful for having a nice big stick to hand) and also because, as seems to happen in martial-arts revolving around big weapons, some of the men there were a trifle weird. but i still remain fond of the older fellas who run the place, stuck there in their decaying, damn, shitty-little school sports hall. but they've just been on the telly-box!!
...i really should post Vic his jacket back...it's still up in the loft somewhere, probably with a mice-nest in it...
anyway! i am feeling an awful lot better, and am going back to work tomorrow. i'm not totally well yet but i'm too fucking bored here, to tell you the truth. i've been out of the house twice since last Tuesday, once to the doctors' and once for a walk this afternoon, only about a mile and a half, two miles but it's exhausted me. what a wreckage of a human being i am...
bah. time to go iron a shirt and hack the week long illness-beard from my face. see ya.....
The Real Christmas
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple and Pixar, will deliver a keynote speech at the Macworld exhibition in San Francisco at 9am their time. It's traditional for him to announce a slew of new products on these occasions. No one knows what he's going to say, but everyone's having a good guess. Mac based ibooks, updated shuffles, new versions of ilife / iwork / .mac are all being widely touted.
Personally, I can't wait to watch the webcast once the show's over (it's never live). I've met and worked with countless salespeople, presenters, 'technical evangelists' over the years and Jobs is in a field of his own.
There was a good article about what goes into this event in the guardian. I found it fascinating to read how he prepares.
Personally, I can't wait to watch the webcast once the show's over (it's never live). I've met and worked with countless salespeople, presenters, 'technical evangelists' over the years and Jobs is in a field of his own.
There was a good article about what goes into this event in the guardian. I found it fascinating to read how he prepares.
January 07, 2006
benny's time's up
the grim reaper is upon me! and i am no good at chess, so i am, alas, doom'ed.
i am poorly. terribly, terribly poorly. so ill i've been unable to blog. or go to work. or sleep for more than a couple or hours or even eat anything. i have a coughy-chest-infection! one so bad that my doctor, who is renowned for never giving out antibiotics (even in the face of the Great Bishops's Waltham Infant School Syphillis Epidemic of '02) recognised a vile case of lung-rasp and the wonderful white-clad pusher-man has sorted me with some tetracycline which is nice, because it makes me sound like i'm in star-trek.
also, it'll knock any chlyamidia i might be carrying around on the head too. lovely name for a girl, chlyamidia, i always thought...but tom's quote, I'm pretty sure we can rule out anything sexually transmitted unless it has a 9 month gestation period, did get me thinking - maybe i'm pregnant...
the only nice thing about being so sick is that - due to not eating much of anything - my obliques have started to show through for the first time in about...er...fifteen years...
2006, by the way, will be the year of getting-a-little-muscly. i'm getting bored of running-but-not-looking-fit and so i'm going to look-fit-without-actually-being-fit. also, i'm getting the feeling that my cneekaps could do with a little bit of a break before they degenerate into wee discs of gristly bone-paste. also, it may help with my other resolution of getting just a little sex again before i'm 40.
anyway. i'm off to force a little porridge between my cracked, parched and a-quivvering lips. a happy new year to you all :)
i am poorly. terribly, terribly poorly. so ill i've been unable to blog. or go to work. or sleep for more than a couple or hours or even eat anything. i have a coughy-chest-infection! one so bad that my doctor, who is renowned for never giving out antibiotics (even in the face of the Great Bishops's Waltham Infant School Syphillis Epidemic of '02) recognised a vile case of lung-rasp and the wonderful white-clad pusher-man has sorted me with some tetracycline which is nice, because it makes me sound like i'm in star-trek.
also, it'll knock any chlyamidia i might be carrying around on the head too. lovely name for a girl, chlyamidia, i always thought...but tom's quote, I'm pretty sure we can rule out anything sexually transmitted unless it has a 9 month gestation period, did get me thinking - maybe i'm pregnant...
the only nice thing about being so sick is that - due to not eating much of anything - my obliques have started to show through for the first time in about...er...fifteen years...
2006, by the way, will be the year of getting-a-little-muscly. i'm getting bored of running-but-not-looking-fit and so i'm going to look-fit-without-actually-being-fit. also, i'm getting the feeling that my cneekaps could do with a little bit of a break before they degenerate into wee discs of gristly bone-paste. also, it may help with my other resolution of getting just a little sex again before i'm 40.
anyway. i'm off to force a little porridge between my cracked, parched and a-quivvering lips. a happy new year to you all :)
Tory Numbers Up
Very interesting. An article in the telegraph says that the conservative party's membership is up 16000 since Cameron was elected leader. The article goes on to say that conservative party members now outnumber Labour and the Lib Dems combined.
For me, the jury's still out on Cameron. But the conservatives are certainly becoming a more viable party, and that can only be a good thing for everyone.
For me, the jury's still out on Cameron. But the conservatives are certainly becoming a more viable party, and that can only be a good thing for everyone.
January 06, 2006
Fox
You know that as far as I'm concerned you're more than welcome down on the farm at any time for any duration.
Go on, resign. We can form a work-dodging commune. We could launch pirate raids on offices, liberating photocopiers, selling franking machines on the black market, preaching our radical beliefs in order to convert the hollow eyed zombie worker army at secret flash meetings called after hours in canteens and corporate car parks.
However, should you arrive in the short term you will have to contend with whining from Sick Benny (who is now the breadwinner).
Go on, resign. We can form a work-dodging commune. We could launch pirate raids on offices, liberating photocopiers, selling franking machines on the black market, preaching our radical beliefs in order to convert the hollow eyed zombie worker army at secret flash meetings called after hours in canteens and corporate car parks.
However, should you arrive in the short term you will have to contend with whining from Sick Benny (who is now the breadwinner).
Plans for the Weekend
As they occur:
- I'd like to cook a large lump of meat; I'm thinking lamb
- I'd like to spend a large amount of time down the pub relaxing. Perhaps reading a magazine.
- I haven't really read the last 3/4 issues of the economist. I resolve to read this week's.
- I'd like to watch at least one of the DVDs blockbust have just sent me. Perhaps 24 Hour Party People.
- I will not think about jobs at this stage of the game. I need to relax.
- I will research bass guitars. A Fender Precision Japanese Import is the most favoured purchase candidate at this time.
- I will listen to this rash of audioblogs that have surfaced and offer my considered opinion
And so to London
As we were packing up our kit tonight Josh was speaking to a colleague of ours - Andy - who had just got back from holiday in Canada. We decided to hook up, Josh and I jumped in his lovely BMW and 1.5 hours later we were in Camden enjoying an orange juice with Mr Reid.
My decision to leave has given both of them pause - I think they're both wondering what the next step is. Josh has a wife, a daughter and a baby on the way so it's likely he'll take his time. Andy is in a much better place than I am in terms of his feelings about the job. It's very unlikely either of them will quit before they have something to go on to. I heard this morning that one of my colleague handed her notice in recently as well. She beat me to it though - I guess I'm just part of the trailing mob.
Nice to get out, actually. For the first time ever I brought my electric guitar along with me (taking advantage of the space in my car) to fiddle about with if the evenings were dull. However we've been out every night this week. Last night we went to see "Just Friends" which was very low brow but a very enjoyable contrast to all the machinations of the day. Josh insisted that we leave an empty seat between us to demonstrate to fellow audience members that we weren't gay. I've not come across this practice before. Evidently they do things differently in Leicester.
There are rumblings that I might be despatched to serve out my notice on a project in Leeds. Josh, who is meant to be leaving basingstoke and going up there, may be retained to replace me. This makes a lot of sense from a project perspective, but not much sense from a personal one. He doesn't like it here. Neither, to be perfectly blunt, do I. I find the people quite difficult to work with (which is an usual problem for me as I've got a really good record of getting on with all sorts at work) and the environment is totally life sapping. The difference is that I don't mind staying here 'cos one way or the other I'm outta here come February 3rd, baby.
My decision to leave has given both of them pause - I think they're both wondering what the next step is. Josh has a wife, a daughter and a baby on the way so it's likely he'll take his time. Andy is in a much better place than I am in terms of his feelings about the job. It's very unlikely either of them will quit before they have something to go on to. I heard this morning that one of my colleague handed her notice in recently as well. She beat me to it though - I guess I'm just part of the trailing mob.
Nice to get out, actually. For the first time ever I brought my electric guitar along with me (taking advantage of the space in my car) to fiddle about with if the evenings were dull. However we've been out every night this week. Last night we went to see "Just Friends" which was very low brow but a very enjoyable contrast to all the machinations of the day. Josh insisted that we leave an empty seat between us to demonstrate to fellow audience members that we weren't gay. I've not come across this practice before. Evidently they do things differently in Leicester.
There are rumblings that I might be despatched to serve out my notice on a project in Leeds. Josh, who is meant to be leaving basingstoke and going up there, may be retained to replace me. This makes a lot of sense from a project perspective, but not much sense from a personal one. He doesn't like it here. Neither, to be perfectly blunt, do I. I find the people quite difficult to work with (which is an usual problem for me as I've got a really good record of getting on with all sorts at work) and the environment is totally life sapping. The difference is that I don't mind staying here 'cos one way or the other I'm outta here come February 3rd, baby.
Charles Kennedy
Well, I hope they keep him. Two reasons:
1) The fallibility is part of his appeal. The public doesn't look to him and want to see a viable alternative, we want to see someone able to confuse the slick boys with a bit of reality once in a while
2) Replace him with who, exactly? They're all a bunch of no-names. Think brand value and stop fighting.
1) The fallibility is part of his appeal. The public doesn't look to him and want to see a viable alternative, we want to see someone able to confuse the slick boys with a bit of reality once in a while
2) Replace him with who, exactly? They're all a bunch of no-names. Think brand value and stop fighting.
Sick Note Benny
I've been staying in a hotel this week but I have heard from home and Benny has been laid up since Monday with some kind of infection.
I'm not sure on the details, but I'm pretty sure we can rule out anything sexually transmitted unless it has a 9 month gestation period.
Get well soon, snotty benny!
I'm not sure on the details, but I'm pretty sure we can rule out anything sexually transmitted unless it has a 9 month gestation period.
Get well soon, snotty benny!
January 04, 2006
It is done
I woke up this morning resolved to leave my job and (emboldened by Ewan who came at it from totally the same perspective I did) have just this minute handed in my notice. My last working day will be February 3rd. I feel better about it now - it's all quite dramatic but at least it's settled.
As of this moment though, the clock is ticking. I'll need to have a serious think about the kind of thing I want to move on to and start applying myself to finding new work. I estimate my financial position enables me to spend up to 3 months looking for something after I leave before I'll have to seriously start digging into my savings. So May the 3rd be with you. How's that for a deadline?
More later, undoubtedly.
As of this moment though, the clock is ticking. I'll need to have a serious think about the kind of thing I want to move on to and start applying myself to finding new work. I estimate my financial position enables me to spend up to 3 months looking for something after I leave before I'll have to seriously start digging into my savings. So May the 3rd be with you. How's that for a deadline?
More later, undoubtedly.
January 03, 2006
Memorable Benny Slip Up
It doesn't happen often, so let's preserve it for posterity:
Referrring to the long nosed, heavy bespectacled plastic disguises you sometimes get in Christmas crackers, Benny memorably said "Those Karl Marx masks are a little disturbing". He meant Groucho Marx, obv, but the damage was done and the room instantly ignited with cries of "Property is Theft" and "Get off my grave you student" accompanied by mimes of glasses and moustaches.
Ho Ho!
Referrring to the long nosed, heavy bespectacled plastic disguises you sometimes get in Christmas crackers, Benny memorably said "Those Karl Marx masks are a little disturbing". He meant Groucho Marx, obv, but the damage was done and the room instantly ignited with cries of "Property is Theft" and "Get off my grave you student" accompanied by mimes of glasses and moustaches.
Ho Ho!
Annual Report
Dear Shareholders
Welcome to Tomco’s annual report for 2005/06. Herein you will find a summary of what was new for our organisation as we made our way through an important but tumultuous year for our little company.
I say ‘little company’ but that’s rapidly becoming a phrase of the past. As we look to conclude our 28th year in 2006 it’s true that we’ve all come a long way since our early days when we started up in a hospital ward in Middlesex. Since then we’ve grown tremendously and although our most dramatic period of growth may be behind us now that we’ve acquired a certain amount of maturity, I like to think we’ve got some life left in us yet.
Please do join us at our AGM later in the year for tea and cakes.
Kind Regards
Tommo
Chairman and CEO
STATEMENT OF STRATEGY
During the financial year JAN 2005 to JAN 2006 the main business of the company was the provision of consulting services to a single customer.
It is now the board’s view that growth in this area is slowing significantly. A recent audit also suggests that the skills of our staff would likely be better directed towards other markets: both emerging and established. It is our intent to reposition the business significantly by the close of Q1.
The board has recently issued a separate communication on this topic (see below) and would welcome prompt feedback from our shareholders.
STRATEGIC REVIEW
At the commencement of our last financial year the board voted to buy “A House” at an opportune point during the year. However, midway through the year the board determined that it was more appropriate to invest in “A Car” and we have amended our corporate strategy accordingly.
PLACE(S) OF OPERATION
In March 2005 we moved our headquarters from London to Hampshire. Staff are on the whole happy with the improved working environment in spite of the reduced amenities available. Financially it was a shrewd move (representing a saving of over 75% of our total facilities budget).
During the last financial year Tomco has operated for significant periods in Basingstoke, Aldershot, Swindon, Bristol, Westminster, Mayfair, Whitehall, Birmingham, Wolverhampton, Manchester, Warrington, Leicester, Nottingham, Leeds, Bradford, Hull, Middlesbrough, Newcastle, Limerick, Cork and from our headquarters in Hampshire.
NOTEWORTHY ACQUISITIONS
1 x Loud Hi Fi
1 x Big TV
1 x Awesome suit
1 x Car
1 x Miscellaneous mountain of guitar kit & software
0.5 x Blog
NOTEWORTHY DISPOSALS
None
FINANCIAL PLANNING
Mortgages researched
Credit facilities balanced and renewed
Current Account facilities reviewed
Pension arranged
STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIPS
A significant strategic relationship was terminated in Q1 2005 by our supplier following extreme in-fighting and confusion on their side at board level.
While this caused significant short term disruption to Tomco’s operations and is still, in many ways, highly regrettable, we have resolved to move on. It is the board’s view that 2005/06 has proven beyond doubt our ability to operate independently with strength.
As we move forward into 2006/07 I’m not prepared to totally rule out the development of further strategic partnerships. However, bearing in mind the lessons of Q1 it’s certainly fair to say I’d be initially cautious to commit serious resources to them.
KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT
Following a sustained seven month campaign and a significant investment we are delighted to announce that we achieved a “Driving Licence” accreditation on October 1st. It is difficult to overstate the huge impact this will have on our operations. My sincere thanks go to all involved.
WRITEOFFS
A large quantity of brandy and a small number of clothes are missing, presumed pinched by our competitor BWH ltd.
[THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]
[ENDS]
Welcome to Tomco’s annual report for 2005/06. Herein you will find a summary of what was new for our organisation as we made our way through an important but tumultuous year for our little company.
I say ‘little company’ but that’s rapidly becoming a phrase of the past. As we look to conclude our 28th year in 2006 it’s true that we’ve all come a long way since our early days when we started up in a hospital ward in Middlesex. Since then we’ve grown tremendously and although our most dramatic period of growth may be behind us now that we’ve acquired a certain amount of maturity, I like to think we’ve got some life left in us yet.
Please do join us at our AGM later in the year for tea and cakes.
Kind Regards
Tommo
Chairman and CEO
STATEMENT OF STRATEGY
During the financial year JAN 2005 to JAN 2006 the main business of the company was the provision of consulting services to a single customer.
It is now the board’s view that growth in this area is slowing significantly. A recent audit also suggests that the skills of our staff would likely be better directed towards other markets: both emerging and established. It is our intent to reposition the business significantly by the close of Q1.
The board has recently issued a separate communication on this topic (see below) and would welcome prompt feedback from our shareholders.
STRATEGIC REVIEW
At the commencement of our last financial year the board voted to buy “A House” at an opportune point during the year. However, midway through the year the board determined that it was more appropriate to invest in “A Car” and we have amended our corporate strategy accordingly.
PLACE(S) OF OPERATION
In March 2005 we moved our headquarters from London to Hampshire. Staff are on the whole happy with the improved working environment in spite of the reduced amenities available. Financially it was a shrewd move (representing a saving of over 75% of our total facilities budget).
During the last financial year Tomco has operated for significant periods in Basingstoke, Aldershot, Swindon, Bristol, Westminster, Mayfair, Whitehall, Birmingham, Wolverhampton, Manchester, Warrington, Leicester, Nottingham, Leeds, Bradford, Hull, Middlesbrough, Newcastle, Limerick, Cork and from our headquarters in Hampshire.
NOTEWORTHY ACQUISITIONS
1 x Loud Hi Fi
1 x Big TV
1 x Awesome suit
1 x Car
1 x Miscellaneous mountain of guitar kit & software
0.5 x Blog
NOTEWORTHY DISPOSALS
None
FINANCIAL PLANNING
Mortgages researched
Credit facilities balanced and renewed
Current Account facilities reviewed
Pension arranged
STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIPS
A significant strategic relationship was terminated in Q1 2005 by our supplier following extreme in-fighting and confusion on their side at board level.
While this caused significant short term disruption to Tomco’s operations and is still, in many ways, highly regrettable, we have resolved to move on. It is the board’s view that 2005/06 has proven beyond doubt our ability to operate independently with strength.
As we move forward into 2006/07 I’m not prepared to totally rule out the development of further strategic partnerships. However, bearing in mind the lessons of Q1 it’s certainly fair to say I’d be initially cautious to commit serious resources to them.
KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT
Following a sustained seven month campaign and a significant investment we are delighted to announce that we achieved a “Driving Licence” accreditation on October 1st. It is difficult to overstate the huge impact this will have on our operations. My sincere thanks go to all involved.
WRITEOFFS
A large quantity of brandy and a small number of clothes are missing, presumed pinched by our competitor BWH ltd.
[THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]
[ENDS]
Moving on?
I've been doing my job since March 2003. If you deduct the time I spent in HMP Kangarooland then I've been doing it for 2.5 years now. And to be honest, I want to go in tomorrow and hand in my notice for the following reasons:
1) The job no longer represents a challenge
2) The job is no longer fun to do
3) I feel a very strong need to do something with a tangible, or at least a visible and certainly sustained output. I am not confident that my job ever entailed this, so this critique may well be a change in my attitude rather than anything else
4) I am frustrated by the lack of a difference I'm making
The issue with my job is that although we are comparatively well rewarded it demands a great deal from our personal lives. We never work less than 10 hours a day, we frequently leave home at 5 or 6am on a Monday and return at 6pm on a Friday. I find myself incredibly drained at weekends.
None of this mattered to me until I lost faith in the outputs of our work: I have really started to doubt that we make a significant difference to our clients. I refer to 'faith' because one of my big problems is that the vast majority of the product we shift is intangible. If you're an architect you can point to your buildings as evidence of your work. If you're a milkman you can point to a milkfloat full of empty bottles you've collected. I can only show you powerpoints, talk to you about training delivered and so on. Compared to the effort expended, the scale and significance of output is poor.
I also use the word 'faith' because sometimes it feels like I'm in a cult. We expend so much energy trying to convince the client of the value of our approach that I felt - and still feel - like a bit of a heathen when I question it myself. But if it can't withstand logical evidence based analysis then I can't believe in it. And it won't, so I can't.
In several cases I've worked my nuts off for clients, made a big impact on how they operated but 6 months after I've left we start hearing about how things have returned to how they were before our intervention. Imagine 4 months of the hardest work you've ever done counting for nothing. Then imagine it happening again and again. To be succinct: that really really sucks.
I felt a real sense of dread at coming back as soon as the sun went down last night.
You know: writing this, I've resolved to resign. The two remaining questions are: when and what next?
The two are linked. Should I hand in my notice now or find something first?
Pros for Leaving Now
1) The job no longer represents a challenge
2) The job is no longer fun to do
3) I feel a very strong need to do something with a tangible, or at least a visible and certainly sustained output. I am not confident that my job ever entailed this, so this critique may well be a change in my attitude rather than anything else
4) I am frustrated by the lack of a difference I'm making
The issue with my job is that although we are comparatively well rewarded it demands a great deal from our personal lives. We never work less than 10 hours a day, we frequently leave home at 5 or 6am on a Monday and return at 6pm on a Friday. I find myself incredibly drained at weekends.
None of this mattered to me until I lost faith in the outputs of our work: I have really started to doubt that we make a significant difference to our clients. I refer to 'faith' because one of my big problems is that the vast majority of the product we shift is intangible. If you're an architect you can point to your buildings as evidence of your work. If you're a milkman you can point to a milkfloat full of empty bottles you've collected. I can only show you powerpoints, talk to you about training delivered and so on. Compared to the effort expended, the scale and significance of output is poor.
I also use the word 'faith' because sometimes it feels like I'm in a cult. We expend so much energy trying to convince the client of the value of our approach that I felt - and still feel - like a bit of a heathen when I question it myself. But if it can't withstand logical evidence based analysis then I can't believe in it. And it won't, so I can't.
In several cases I've worked my nuts off for clients, made a big impact on how they operated but 6 months after I've left we start hearing about how things have returned to how they were before our intervention. Imagine 4 months of the hardest work you've ever done counting for nothing. Then imagine it happening again and again. To be succinct: that really really sucks.
I felt a real sense of dread at coming back as soon as the sun went down last night.
You know: writing this, I've resolved to resign. The two remaining questions are: when and what next?
The two are linked. Should I hand in my notice now or find something first?
Pros for Leaving Now
- I really can't wait to get out of here. Seriously. It's on the verge of being depressing.
- My attitude towards the job is affecting the quality of my outputs which will soon affect my reputation
- If my attitude deteriorates much further then I may run the risk of being fired which would really suck
- Handing my notice in will force me to do something substantial in terms of finding new work
- My personal situation means I could go without working for a while and still meet my obligations
- Job hunting effectively while working for 10 hours a day isn't a very realistic prospect
- I meet my 'obligation' in terms of the project I'm on - i.e. I see through what I've started
- Given time, I might fall back in love with my job
- Greater perceived security: I don't have to worry about where the money's going to come from because I'll go straight from one job to the next
Brewer's Groupie
Benny and I went up to the local micro brewery between christmas and new year to pick up a box of beer for a party we had at our house. I know the two guys that run the place - Loopy and Ray - not as well as Benny does, but well enough to talk to. They're great chaps.
The brewhouse is set up in a converted out building. probably has a footprint the size of a tennis court. They were up and down the wooden stairs, filling up huge tanks, checking things, filling boxes, taking money, preparing orders and all that kind of stuff. I was struck by a huge pang of jealousy. Why can't I have a job like that? Boo hoo hoo.
Well, maybe it's because I don't have the skills or the know how. And maybe that's just as well because all I got was a 15 second impression of something I have no idea about and living with it would be a very different proposition. But that didn't stop the feeling. Way back in 2000 I went out with Fred (who was then working for them) delivering beer. This was during a holiday from being a systems developer. The job seemed so simple but so rewarding. Job utopia! I immediately wanted it.
SMASH CUT TO
EXT TRACKING Lorry driving along lush country lane. Rear of lorry is piled high with barrels of beer.
CUT TO
EXT WINDSCREEN We see TOM at the wheel of the lorry smiling contentedly as he drives his precious cargo to the next destination on his list
CUT TO
EXT TRACKING Van pulls up alongside charming stone clad country pub. An OLD MAN is sitting at a table adjacent to the door with his DOG. TOM unloads a barrel from the back of the van.
OLD MAN
Hello Tom!
TOM
Hello mate, how's it going?
OLD MAN
Oh, my wife died and my only daughter's just done a porno with Tommy Lee's Alsatian. But now you've brought us some more of that lovely beer everything's going to be just fine
TOM (ENTERING PUB WITH BARREL)
Glad to hear it!
MUSIC SWELLS
OLD MAN (To DOG)
What a guy!
Or maybe not.
On reflection I think it was just a bit of beer lust dressed up as a career aspiration. And lo I returned to my job and a year later I rolled out a huge system and felt myself to be rather clever. So sometimes it's worth sticking with it.
But sometimes you have to bail. And sometimes when things are complex I get an overwhelming urge to go for the more simple option. Arrgh.
The brewhouse is set up in a converted out building. probably has a footprint the size of a tennis court. They were up and down the wooden stairs, filling up huge tanks, checking things, filling boxes, taking money, preparing orders and all that kind of stuff. I was struck by a huge pang of jealousy. Why can't I have a job like that? Boo hoo hoo.
Well, maybe it's because I don't have the skills or the know how. And maybe that's just as well because all I got was a 15 second impression of something I have no idea about and living with it would be a very different proposition. But that didn't stop the feeling. Way back in 2000 I went out with Fred (who was then working for them) delivering beer. This was during a holiday from being a systems developer. The job seemed so simple but so rewarding. Job utopia! I immediately wanted it.
SMASH CUT TO
EXT TRACKING Lorry driving along lush country lane. Rear of lorry is piled high with barrels of beer.
CUT TO
EXT WINDSCREEN We see TOM at the wheel of the lorry smiling contentedly as he drives his precious cargo to the next destination on his list
CUT TO
EXT TRACKING Van pulls up alongside charming stone clad country pub. An OLD MAN is sitting at a table adjacent to the door with his DOG. TOM unloads a barrel from the back of the van.
OLD MAN
Hello Tom!
TOM
Hello mate, how's it going?
OLD MAN
Oh, my wife died and my only daughter's just done a porno with Tommy Lee's Alsatian. But now you've brought us some more of that lovely beer everything's going to be just fine
TOM (ENTERING PUB WITH BARREL)
Glad to hear it!
MUSIC SWELLS
OLD MAN (To DOG)
What a guy!
Or maybe not.
On reflection I think it was just a bit of beer lust dressed up as a career aspiration. And lo I returned to my job and a year later I rolled out a huge system and felt myself to be rather clever. So sometimes it's worth sticking with it.
But sometimes you have to bail. And sometimes when things are complex I get an overwhelming urge to go for the more simple option. Arrgh.
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